Bee Hive
Whats all the buzz about?
A bee only lives for 6 weeks.
When honeybees die, they tend to leave the nest on their own volition. An acknowledgment of their own inevitable passing. But sometimes the flock has to take them out of the honeycomb nest themselves.
Often bees will try to hold onto the body as it’s dragged out as to not lose them.
Sometimes I feel like a honeybee. I don’t wanna lose anything. I feel like I am clinging onto the dead body of a friend, a stranger or an idea. I’m not sure if it’s because I can’t admit defeat. Or maybe it’s because I just hate losing. I’m not exactly a quitter, but I’m not a fighter either. I drudge out to the side of the hive, hoping no one noticed I died. Blend into honeycomb.
I’m at a coffee shop drinking an iced lychee oolong tea. I have a Tuesday off- so I figured I would linger in Soho and try and write some of my thoughts down now that I’m out of the figurative hole. It's 77 degrees out- and I’m thinking about when’s a good time to lay out and tan. I miss the ocean. I’m booking tickets to south France. I’m buying little bikinis and sundresses that I’ll only wear for 3 seconds. The walk from the hotel to the playa. I’ve even tried not biting my nails down to stubs so I can have nice nails for my birthday.
Taste sand and salt water. Feel the burn from under my eyelids.
It’s kind of dreamy, leaving the hive in which i’ve come from. To be honest I think I got inspired to write today because Angel sent me a substack article that was clearly AI. I mean, it was to obvious. I’m not against AI though for editing or even some writing prompting. However, I do believe AI is the death of the creative part of your brain. Inevitably the neurons wont connect or something and every idea turns to shit. I’m sure if this girl actually wrote something from her mind I’d like it enough.
The hive mind says it cool to read now. That its cool to write. Which makes me happier than the past trends. I think a lot of people are rediscovering their love of creative literature. A part of me is like woah- the books were always here. I was here. Where were you? Do we need a trendy girl book club to read?
The answer is yes. Letting women have space to discover and rediscover that part of themselves will always be allowed, you just have to not stay bitter about it. If you can grow- so can they. I like to think of women as bees as well. We are all in the woman hive mind. You have to think about protecting us as a whole. This might start to sound a bit socialist- my hearts in the right place. Once upon a time, you felt rejected by the mob. You felt isolated and unable to connect. You were a girl. When I think about how I treat other women, I think about that girl too.
I’m not exactly ready to leave the nest. But maybe death is not inevitable.